Seven steps to being highly confident
How you feel about yourself can affect how your day and your life goes. If you are feeling down about yourself, you exude that to others. People may give you a wide berth, since your negative energy is something they just don’t want to be around. So how can you be more positive and come across as confident?
Here are seven steps to a more confident you.
- Make a list of your strengths.
It doesn’t matter if there are people that are better than you. It only matters that you know it is a strength of yours. List everything you can think of: you know how to drive a car and ride a bicycle. You know how to use a computer, check your email, write documents using MS Word, create a spreadsheet, and make a PowerPoint presentation. You know how to buy groceries and put together a healthy meal. You know how to clean your home and do your laundry. May be you can paint, play a musical instrument or have other artistic talents. May be you are a good listener or problem solver. May be you are in a loving relationship. Think of your past successes. Make a list of all of it. Put it in a safe place where it won’t be discovered, maybe carry it with you, so you can give yourself a confidence boost any time you want one.
- Take care of yourself.
How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. Be kind to yourself. Have a routine that includes regular sufficient sleep, daily hygiene starting with a shower that wakes you up and refreshes you. Dress well. How you look has an effect on how you feel and how others perceive you. Make time for breakfast to start the day out right. Try to get some exercise every day, even if it is only a twenty-minute walk around the neighborhood. Try to eat moderate portion sizes and include plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet. Consider meditating or yoga as a form of relaxation.
- Learn about your body language.
When you walk hold your head high and your shoulders straight (no slouching when you walk). When you are talking try to become aware of what facial expressions you are making and what your hands are doing. You could try and hold a pretend conversation in front of the mirror or ask a friend to give you feedback on your non-verbal communication. With practice you can project confidence instead of emotions such as nervousness, anxiety or boredom. Nothing portrays confidence as a relaxed stance, speaking loudly and clearly, and making eye contact.
- In conversation, learn to listen.
People love to talk to someone who is interested and who listens to what they have to say. Ask questions about things you genuinely want to know about and then listen. Look for the best in others and sincerely compliment them. When others ask you questions, learn to get to the point or tell a short interesting story that illustrates your point.
- Learn to handle rejection.
Rejection is an inevitable part of life. Realize that often rejection isn’t personal. If you are asking someone to get together for lunch and they say ‘no’, it may not have anything to do with you. They may already have plans or they are overcommitted and need the time to work on something. If you are asking someone to buy something from you, again a ‘no’ in all likelihood has nothing to do with you. They may have no need for what you have to sell, they may not have the money to buy what you have or any other number of reasons why they say ‘no’. Don’t take it personally. On the other hand, rejection may be personal. Try to accept that not everyone wants to spend time with you or buy from you. Find others who do want what you have or want to spend time with you.
- Learn public speaking.
Being confident when speaking in front of a group is a major coup. It can be learned. To learn more about that topic read my article from May 22, 2014, ‘Fear of Public Speaking? No Problem’ In fact I know of someone who was a stutterer but learned to speak in public without stuttering. You can overcome your fear of public speaking.
- Practice entering new environments.
Whether you start a new job or join a new group, entering a new environment can affect your confidence. Decide to be outgoing and introduce yourself to everyone you meet. Be sincerely interested in what others have to say and use your conversational skills. This is a chance to make a favorable first impression.
There are many steps you can take to build up your level of confidence. Pick one and stick with it for a while. Notice how your skills and confidence get a boost.
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