Subject: Hate doing your Taxes or dealing with Money Issues? It may not be for the reasons you think
Looking for the Real Culprit why you and Money don’t get along
It’s that time of year again. The government (in the USA) wants to know how much money you made last year to make sure it is getting its share. If you don’t like doing your taxes, you probably have very good reasons:
- You don’t have the time to deal with it.
- You can’t find all the receipts.
- You owe money and don’t have enough to pay your taxes.
- You hate keeping track of all the deductions.
- It’s complicated.
- You don’t want to spend the money on a bookkeeper or tax preparer.
- You just can’t deal with it.
- You’ve never been good with numbers.
- Insert your own reasons here.
What if these reasons are cover-ups for the REAL REASONS you don’t like looking at your money? What if the source of your anxiety is found in your childhood?
Story: Early Money Experiences and their Effect
When I was very young and before my parents divorced, they fought. Loudly; Verbally; Physically. It was very scary. One of the things they fought about was money. There just wasn’t enough, not even enough for food. So I was hungry a lot. Sometimes I’d prefer hunger over the food that was offered. Ever had Blue Jay soup? I don’t recommend it.
My point is that I associated all sorts of negative and scary feelings with the presence or absence of money: fear, anxiety, violence, abusiveness, out of control tempers, controlling behavior, hunger, revolting food. If money by its presence or absence could do all that to people – it must be bad.
These weren’t conscious thoughts – no – they were buried deep in my unconscious. They took some time to even find and shine some light on them. And I didn’t do it alone. People who had walked that path before me helped me find my way. Each time one of those hidden beliefs surfaced and was released, life around money got a little easier, sometimes instantly.
Over my lifetime I have had money feast and famine: practically no money and at other times a whole lot of money. When too much money got too scary, I somehow managed to make poor choices and lose it. Of course I didn’t do it on purpose, nor was I aware of the pattern at the time. And when money was really scarce, I always somehow managed to get through the lean times and land back on my feet.
Call to Action and Why This Matters
We all have built in comfort zones with money. Unless we do the inner work to shift to a different level, we tend to stay where we are. You’ve probably heard that most lottery winners lose all their winnings and even go broke within five years.
So what can you do to change your comfort with money?
- Think back to some of your early memories that involve money. Try to remember a scene – but differently. Instead of reliving it, think of it as a movie that you are watching – on a big screen. Observe the actors and their behavior. Then think what that little boy or girl (you) in that movie must have felt like. Do you think those conclusions are true or are they from the limited worldview of a young person? As an observing adult, what do you see that is really going on?
This exercise may stir you up. Do it at a time when you are uninterrupted and have some time to rest and soothe yourself afterwards.
Repeat this process regularly and you might be surprised at what surfaces and how, over time, doing money related things gets easier.
Taking it Farther
Learn about money. Choose a topic that you want to get comfortable with and start reading about it. Your local library or the Internet have lots of free resources. A reference librarian can help you find what you are interested in.
- Becoming tax savvy;
- Getting out of debt;
- Saving for retirement;
- Real Estate investing;
- Budgeting and money management;
- Starting and growing a business
- Teaching kids about money
- Insert your topic here
Take repeated action steps until you are no longer emotionally charged around your topic of choice. Then you can enjoy learning and implementing the changes you desire.
Be patient with yourself and don’t give up. Changing a lifetime of money conditioning doesn’t usually vaporize in an instant.
If you want more help or get on a faster track, call me: 847.913.3900.
You deserve to be financially healthy and free from money anxiety.