Be in the Flow – Follow Your Path!

Archive for March, 2011

Looking for the Real Culprit why you and Money don’t get along

Subject: Hate doing your Taxes or dealing with Money Issues? It may not be for the reasons you think

Looking for the Real Culprit why you and Money don’t get along

It’s that time of year again. The government (in the USA) wants to know how much money you made last year to make sure it is getting its share. If you don’t like doing your taxes, you probably have very good reasons:

  • You don’t have the time to deal with it.
  • You can’t find all the receipts.
  • You owe money and don’t have enough to pay your taxes.
  • You hate keeping track of all the deductions.
  • It’s complicated.
  • You don’t want to spend the money on a bookkeeper or tax preparer.
  • You just can’t deal with it.
  • You’ve never been good with numbers.
  • Insert your own reasons here.

What if these reasons are cover-ups for the REAL REASONS you don’t like looking at your money?  What if the source of your anxiety is found in your childhood?

Story: Early Money Experiences and their Effect

When I was very young and before my parents divorced, they fought. Loudly; Verbally; Physically. It was very scary. One of the things they fought about was money. There just wasn’t enough, not even enough for food. So I was hungry a lot. Sometimes I’d prefer hunger over the food that was offered. Ever had Blue Jay soup? I don’t recommend it.

My point is that I associated all sorts of negative and scary feelings with the presence or absence of money: fear, anxiety, violence, abusiveness, out of control tempers, controlling behavior, hunger, revolting food. If money by its presence or absence could do all that to people – it must be bad.

These weren’t conscious thoughts – no – they were buried deep in my unconscious. They took some time to even find and shine some light on them. And I didn’t do it alone. People who had walked that path before me helped me find my way. Each time one of those hidden beliefs surfaced and was released, life around money got a little easier, sometimes instantly.

Over my lifetime I have had money feast and famine: practically no money and at other times a whole lot of money. When too much money got too scary, I somehow managed to make poor choices and lose it. Of course I didn’t do it on purpose, nor was I aware of the pattern at the time. And when money was really scarce, I always somehow managed to get through the lean times and land back on my feet.

Call to Action and Why This Matters

We all have built in comfort zones with money. Unless we do the inner work to shift to a different level, we tend to stay where we are. You’ve probably heard that most lottery winners lose all their winnings and even go broke within five years.

So what can you do to change your comfort with money?

Try this:

  • Think back to some of your early memories that involve money. Try to remember a scene – but differently. Instead of reliving it, think of it as a movie that you are watching – on a big screen. Observe the actors and their behavior. Then think what that little boy or girl (you) in that movie must have felt like. Do you think those conclusions are true or are they from the limited worldview of a young person? As an observing adult, what do you see that is really going on?

This exercise may stir you up. Do it at a time when you are uninterrupted and have some time to rest and soothe yourself afterwards.

Repeat this process regularly and you might be surprised at what surfaces and how, over time, doing money related things gets easier.

Taking it Farther

Learn about money. Choose a topic that you want to get comfortable with and start reading about it. Your local library or the Internet have lots of free resources. A reference librarian can help you find what you are interested in.

Topic ideas:

  • Becoming tax savvy;
  • Getting out of debt;
  • Saving for retirement;
  • Investing;
  • Real Estate investing;
  • Budgeting and money management;
  • Starting and growing a business
  • Teaching kids about money
  • Insert your topic here

Take repeated action steps until you are no longer emotionally charged around your topic of choice. Then you can enjoy learning and implementing the changes you desire.

Be patient with yourself and don’t give up. Changing a lifetime of money conditioning doesn’t usually vaporize in an instant.

If you want more help or get on a faster track, call me: 847.913.3900.

You deserve to be financially healthy and free from money anxiety.

The potato salad approach to life? Huh?

Lessons from the Potato Salad approach to Life

I know it’s a little early to be thinking about picnics in the park and potato salads. Or is it? “Potato Salad” is the word that popped into my head last night when I asked myself, “What shall I write about in my next article?” I go with my intuition. May you find it valuable.

 

Story: Rocks in Bowls and Potatoes in Dressing

You may have heard the analogy of how to pack more into your 24 hour day: like rocks in a bowl.

Put the largest rocks in the bowl first, then fit smaller rocks in between, then pebbles, then sand. You’ll have an action packed day and you get a lot done. …. And, pardon the pun, you’ll live life between a rock and a hard place.

 

When you are tired of that approach, try the potato salad approach to life.

First, create the dressing – tasting it until you get it just right, write it down so you’ll have a recipe for next time. Then add the chunks of perfectly cooked potatoes, and voila – you have tasty dish to enjoy.

 

How does that apply to life? Here are some questions to help you create your life’s ideal “dressing”.

Have you thought about how you do your best work? What does your room and environment look like when you are at your best? Do you like doing certain things in the mornings or evenings? Do you work well uninterrupted or do you thrive when you build in breaks throughout the day or have something to look forward to?

Creating your day to your liking is like creating the perfect dressing. Without the dressing the potatoes would be bland. Without organizing your day the way you work best, the day becomes like drudgery without end. Of course – sometimes life gets in the way of the best plans. Even more reason to create you day the way you like it – during the times when that is possible.

 

Call to Action and Why This Matters

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the enormity of your to do list? Some people carry it so far as to have to do lists for their weekends and Holidays – may be even a daily to do list while on vacation: books to read, scenic places to visit, restaurants to check out, … you get the idea. It might be an addiction to scheduling your life – or a fear of boredom and unscheduled time. You might need to wean yourself gradually – or some people go cold turkey.

 

To start:

  1. Set aside 30-60 minutes. Go for a walk or find a place to sit with a nice view, something calming, or may be a place of worship.
  2. Think back to times when you felt energized, alive, in the flow, doing your best work.
  3. Think about what might have contributed to that feeling of bliss. Those are the starting ingredients for your dressing.
  4. Plan to put some of those ingredients into your day: a bit of prayer or meditation; connecting with nature; a cheerful or inspiring object within your view; stretch breaks; brief vigorous exercise to get your blood pumping, etc.
  5. Experiment until you find what works well for you. Then change it up if it starts to go stale. Keep what works, let go of the rest.
  6. You deserve to live a joy-filled life.

 

Taking it Farther

 

SHARE IT: Joy is to be shared. Tell someone what you did as a result of this newsletter tip and how it made your day go better. If you found this article helpful, send it to someone else who might also benefit and suggest that they subscribe to my newsletter.

 

TELL ME how this made a difference in your life. Send email to Edith@esCoach.com Subject: Newsletter feedback.

 

Need more help? I’m here for you. Call to schedule some coaching. 847.913.3900

 

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